My Hat Is Off To...

I'm finally over this long-lasting cold that lead to a mild case of bronchitis (always a pain.) It had been two years since I'd had a really good/bad cold, so I wasn't enjoying life. Anyway, I have also been busy with various ghostwriting assignments, so I decided to catch up on other stuff today. Meanwhile, I have a few things to be serious, AND, sarcastic about today.

So my hat is off to...

1. Guys who build houses in freezing temperatures. I'm watching a crew build a house behind us. They've been working all week in 20 to 30 degree temperatures laying concrete, putting in the well, laying crushed stone for the driveway base, getting the foundation dug and poured. I'll happily go out and walk in this weather, but stand out there for 10 hours a day and work.... NO thanks!

2. Men and women who do everything while their wives or girlfriends, husbands or boyfriends help out very little. I'm talking about the man or woman who cooks, cleans, shops, does all the laundry, tends to the children, pays the bills, etc. all while holding a full-time job. Meanwhile the significant other goes out partying or "works late". I'd loan you my husband or self to help out just cause you are such a decent role model, but then I'm afraid you couldn't afford us. ;-)

3. The mailman and UPS man. At my house, these men (I'd say women, but they are both men so...) bust butt on a daily basis toting packages to my door. I treat them as well as I can with goodies as surprises for holidays and the likes. I know they are paid to do this, but regardless of the wintery roads, they are always dependable and I bet they don't often hear it.

4. Simon Cowell. I keep watching and wonder why Paula Abdul is still on the show. Whatever she is taking (and I'm certain she's taking something), it's really starting to become overtly apparent. Toppled glasses of whatever she drinks, screwed up speech, horrible grammar, flapping arm movements (what is with last night's seal clapping--clapping just the palm of her hands and nothing else???) She's on something. I know she was/is bulimic and I'm betting she's on some kind of happy pill for depression, anxiety or manic depression. Something's up with her. Meanwhile, Simon continues to be the dose of reality to the contestants. Chicken Little (whatever your real name is) sorry but you suck. You seriously, and I'm not exaggerating here, put me to sleep last night. You hit the chorus and I was out. You may have your little girl groupies, but you don't sing fantastically! You made me miss Ace. Thank God I caught Mandesa (if that's how you spell it), Kathryn, and Chris first. If you'd been first, I'd be cursing you right about now.

Now comes the sarcasm...

5. A special thanks to the delightful teenagers in my neighborhood who hung out late on Saturday night (Sunday morning) and smashed beer bottles all over the road. That certainly adds an air of atmosphere to the neighborhood. I especially LOVE keeping my dog's paws and little kids' boots out of the glass. I have just one more kind word for you... "Remember that will eventually have a kid who is JUST like you." I hope I'm there to see it. ;-)

6. To teachers that lie to parents. What excellent role models you are for our children. I definitely suggest researching what you tell a parent first. Some of us are just shrewd enough to check the facts that you are spouting. My children may not have you yet, but when they do I hope you are prepared for battle with a little more of a factoral base than you've shown thus far.

7. Drivers using cell phones. The slick running of the stop sign certainly deserves applause. My kids appreciate your thoughtfulness too! New lesson for you, stop means stop and turn off the damn phone until you've safely (emphasis on safely) pulled over.

8. To Bob and all those who think staying hard 24/7 is what women want. I get enough emails from you, so there must be a large percentage of you out there. Guess again! It's quality not quantity! Bob from the commercials - I flip away now if I get the slightest hint you are about to make an appearance. You drive me batty and not in a pleasant way. I'd like to ship you, the Geico Gecko, and Rich Tarrant to the same island where you have no chance of escape.

9. Rich Tarrant. You may be running against Bernie. I won't vote for you. Do I even know a speck about you? No, I just know your stupid soap opera "to be continued" ads are driving me insane. So you've lost my vote due to your ads. You need to find a new campaign advisor!