Parenting

I was just reading the news and apparently the government in California is currently acting to introduce legislation that bans spanking a child. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16929303/

So $1,000 or one year of jail if you spank your child in public. PLEASE.

First, I think there are more troublesome offenses that need to be taken care of. You can drive while intoxicated in many areas and get away with a lower fine and no jail time. That is a travesty.

Now, I will add my two cents to this. First, spanking in my book is a quick smack on the padded bottom or hand. Face is never allowed. It is also one slap, not a series and certainly not with dropped pants like a former neighbor did to his own children. I have my limits.

My own children, I can't remember the last time I did smack either one of them, but I can tell you why. My daughter was going to put a pencil into an outlet after figuring out how to remove the safety caps that we had in all of our outlets. She got her hand quickly smacked. She dropped the pencil immediately and never touched outlets again. She was three at the time and should have known better, but being curious, she tried it anyway. Is she scarred for life? No. Did she get zapped causing possible health issues? NO! I took action and remedied the situation immediately.

My son. He was four and decided to go across the street to see our neighbor's grandson's new Hot Wheel's Jeep type toy (the one that kid's actually drive.) We were doing dishes and never heard him leave the house. Our street is not the safest street to go across - we are the short cut to one of the quieter (and free) boat launches for Lake Champlain. Boat traffic in the summer goes far too fast and too frequent for any child that young to be out in. The fact that he made it across the road safely thrills me, but the fact that he went across alone got him a smack on the rear end. Even today, he admits that he knew he'd be in trouble but he wanted to see the Jeep. He's not scarred by it. In fact, those who will say that hitting leads to hitting (in my book hitting is not a quick slap), my son has never hit another person. He's one of the rare few in middle school who has never gotten into a fight and has walked away from fights despite the laughter from his peers.

Now, I know people who refuse to hit their children. One of these children throws more temper tantrums in one day than my children have in their entire lifetime combined. This mom constantly battles with her child to eat the meals she has prepared, go to bed at his set bedtime, pick up toys, take a bath when told, and stay in their yard. She swears that the simple word NO and restrictions works well, but I can't see that it has. Fighting with her child on a daily basis makes me thrilled my kids have learned that I am the boss! They know I love them, they love me, and they also know that when I say NO it means it.

Love, Magic, & Mudpies

Here is a parenting guide that I will happily put my faith in. Why? The author, Dr. Bernie Siegel, is as laid back as they come. He throws away traditional parenting and suggests having fun! He's the first to admit his own parenting faults and says no parent is perfect! It's about time.



Dr. Siegel won me over after pointing out one small fact. How many of you have taken a day off of work because you were tired of it all? We've all done it. There have been times I have stayed in PJ's all day and ignored the computer. I call them "Mental Health Days", Dr. Siegel refers to them as "health days." He also states that he gave his children five health days per semester.

This is the first time I have heard of anyone else doing this. I've been known to let my son take a "mental health" day from time to time. This year he has been adverse to doing so. The school changed the policy last year and more than 3 days of missed school meant a child was sent home with a letter discussing delinquency. After seven days off, a meeting was held with the advisory board. They did it to cut delinquency, in the end they've scared kids into going to school sick.

I'm ticked off about it and have not let the brainchild behind this new policy rest since.

I'm going to agree with Dr. Siegel. Kids are being given federally mandated tests earlier than ever. They are being pushed in school beyond reasonable demands. Kindergarteners are coming home with an hour's worth of homework some days. Some areas require kindergarteners to give their first oral report (I know ours does). Studies show that kids are under more stress than ever, so if they ask for a mental health day and their grades are fine, why not give it to them? You know if you were pressured at work and tired of it all, you'd take a personal day!