The Feminine Mistake?

So I recently heard about the major debate over author Leslie Bennetts' book "The Feminine Mistake." Apparently, the author brings up points about why becoming a stay-at-home mom is a bad thing. My immediate goal was to find out more about this woman. She is a mom, so she gets minor points there.



I have been a stay-at-home mom for thirteen years. Sure, I rely on my husband for money, the government told me long ago that I'm useless to them and that as a "non-working" entity, I am entitled to NOTHING, I do some writing from home to supplement our income and to earn enough credits to qualify for any social security benefits that may or may not be around by the time I am of retirement age. I will not argue the author's points regarding the financial aspects of being a stay-at-home mom.

However, I would not change my life. I'll take the lower pay scale having been out of the actual work force for more than a decade. My kids are well-adjusted, do not touch drugs or alcohol, they have not had sex by the age of 13 like many of their peers, and they are both straight A students. To me, that is far more important that money.

In my childhood, almost every mom in the neighborhood stayed home until the kids were in middle school. We are all well adjusted. The one mom who did work. Her son has been in and out of jail, beats his wife, and is raising his children by ignoring them unless they've done something wrong and in that case he'll smack them around too.

In my own neighborhood now, I look at the homes where the moms either work from home or stay home. Those are the children who never get into trouble. Across the street, we have girls who actively do drugs and are dating boys much older than themselves. In other homes, one boy was dating a girl 10 years older and his mom was at work and seemed not to care "she's slow and seems to be mentally the same age..." A kid down the road almost went to jail for destroying headstones in the cemetary because his mom was working and he was "bored." Some former neighbors used to kill time when their mom was at work by having sex with the neighborhood boys. For these girls it became a game to see how many times they could have sex before the mom came home. Sadly, and far too often, I'd see the mom pull into the driveway and then the boy would be climbing out the bedroom window. Where are they now? Both girls are now in their early twenties and both girls are moms. Each had a child by her 19th birthday.

This isn't what I wanted of my kids. I'll take the loss of pay and stay home until they have matured enough to know right from wrong. My kids know that we could be in a much nicer place financially had I not given up my job as the assistant to the president of a mailing company, but I was willing to sacrifice everything to raise children who know how much I was willing to forego. Eventually, I will be returning to the workforce. In the meantime, I am tired of those who do think that SAHM's are going against the ideals set by feminists years ago. Perhaps the freedom to choose what you feel is right for yourself and your children is the ideal goal.

Would I buy this book? Never. I don't feel the need to pad someone's pockets when they are not showing both sides of the issues.